Guest Post by Tiffany Pitts author of Double Blind

Today, Tiffany Pitts, author of Double Blind, is stopping by to tell us about how she became a writer. Take it away Tiffany.

Lots of writers I know tell me about how they were born a writer. They’ve known all their lives they wanted to be a writer. In grade school they wrote plays about getting lost in the zoo and all the animals teamed up to help them get home. In high school they wrote the great American Teenage Angst novel or Sci-fi dramas that had absolutely nothing to do with Star Wars even though the main characters were named Don Rolo and Mewchacca or whatever.

I’d like to say I did these things too but I can’t. I can’t because I was not born a writer.

I was born a scientist.

I’ve always loved science. I pretended to do every science I knew about. I stared at the stars (Astronomy) and collected ditch water (Biology) and sticks (Botany). I then poked things with the sticks (Psychology) and forgot about the ditchwater until it started growing things (Mycology). I liked looking under rocks (Archeology, occasionally Zoology). On a nice sunny day, I could fit four scientific disciplines into one well-made mud pie (Physics, Chemistry, Entomology, Civil Engineering).

What I didn’t like was writing. I avoided it every chance I got. In high school my strategy for getting through English class was to become the photo editor of the newspaper. If you worked on the newspaper you got English credit but as photo-editor all I had to do was take pictures. Consequently, the only things I remember from English class are the smell of photo developer and Mrs. Ceteznik reading us Dave Barry articles every Friday.

I often noted this in my journal. You know, the one I keep to write down all the important stuff—like how the gravel in the driveway looked all wavy in the morning or how the ducks on the lack were especially quacky when I walked past– stuff like that.

I never considered my journal entries writing because A) I was a scientist and good scientists have to keep notes and B) anyone can journal, all you have to do is write down the words in your head as they come to you. My journal was filled with of 150 words or less and read like Tom Robbins and Kurt Vonnegut got together and tried to out-angram each other. Lots of run-on sentences and streams of metaphorical consciousness. Sometimes there were diagrams.

But writing a story? I could never do that. That was intimidating. That was Writing for Real. Whenever I sat down to Write for Real, it took me hours just to get a few words down in the right order. Even then I could never say exactly what I wanted to say so why bother?

What an entitled little shit I was. Honestly, I am surprised I didn’t get smacked upside the head more often.

As much as I hated the idea of writing, I never stopped ‘journaling’. And when the internet became a thing I started an on-line journal where I could write in the afternoons when I was bored at work. I told people about it but I didn’t care if they read it. Occasionally people would. Some of them even enjoyed it. That always confused me.

Then one day I read a book that changed my attitude on writing. I’m sure you’ve read or at least heard about this book so I won’t bore you with details. Let’s just say that it wasn’t very well written and it sold fourteen bajillion copies. Even though it became the laughing stock of half the literary world, I read the whole damn thing.

Why would I do that? The story line was ridiculous. The characters were flat. I was so irritated at the choices they made within the story that I got drunk and wrote snotty comments all over the margins. And yet I read that story like it was going to disappear if I closed my eyes. How did she do that? Because I wanted to do that too.

snotty marginalia

That’s when I finally realized what a complete idiot I am. All my life I thought I hated writing but I didn’t hate writing, I hated being bad at writing. I hated that the words wouldn’t come out perfect the first time. I resented my lack of clarity and linear thinking. I wanted to be writer I just didn’t know how.

Thank goodness I figured that out! Soon journaling became writing and writing became practice and practice got better. The words don’t come any easier now than they did then but I’ve learned more things now. I know how to be patient now. I listen to my inner editor but she doesn’t get to run the show. I let myself write crap because it’s easier just to get it out than fight it. And at the end of the day, I may only have three usable paragraphs but I wrote them and I like what I wrote. It really doesn’t get any better than that.

double blind

 

Double Blind

By Tiffany Pitts

Genre: Adult Fiction, Humor

Book Synopsis

Delilah Pelham’s brother, Paul, is missing. She should probably be worried about that but honestly, he’s been in trouble since the day he learned the words “trust me.” In fact, if it weren’t for his roommate, Carl, she would gladly leave him to his fate.

Carl is a good guy, even if he’s a bit of a dork. Okay, a large slice of a dork. Possibly the entire cake.

But he wants to help, as do his gamer friends, which is how Deli finds herself in the middle of Hong Kong with the King of the Dorks, running from creepy guys with slicked-back hair and shiny black guns.

Back at home, Carl’s friends aren’t faring nearly as well. All they had to do was monitor the situation and feed Deli’s cat while she was gone. How could that possibly end in bloodshed?

There is an answer, of course, but no one ever thinks to ask the cat.

Author Bio

Tiffany headshot jpg

Tiffany grew up in the Seattle area in a time when the Super Sonics were huge and Starbucks was just a store at the end of the Market. Tragedy struck early in her life as her family moved to New Jersey mere months before Bon Jovi’s “Slippery When Wet” album hit record stores. It took nearly a decade to wean herself off the hairspray. But Seattle called her back, so she went; eventually earning a degree in Botany (pronounced “Bar tending”) at the University of Washington.

She made one more valiant attempt to leave the PNW after college by travelling around the country doing not much of value and making very stupid decisions. She is thankful every day that the internet was not a huge deal in those years. Then Seattle called again so she picked up and moved home where she spent many years being a scientist of middling talent in several labs that she absolutely did not blow up—except for that one time and everyone agreed not to talk about that any more.

Now she divides her time between writing fiction and raising two kids who are wonderful but, for some reason, won’t stop licking things.

Social media links:

Twitter:  @snickerpants

Website:  www.snickerpants.com

Facebook page name is Tiffany Pitts, Author.  Link is: https://www.facebook.com/tiffanypittsauthor

 

 

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About TBM

Recently I entered the world of self-publishing with my novel, A Woman Lost. Follow me on my indie publishing adventure on tbmarkinson.wordpress.com. Follow my challenge to travel to 192 countries, read 1,001 books, and watch AFI's top 100 movies on 50yearproject.wordpress.com
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31 Responses to Guest Post by Tiffany Pitts author of Double Blind

  1. I love your comment about writing crap. Sometimes ideas sound great in your head, but seeing them on paper makes you realize it just won’t work.

  2. bulldog says:

    I love this woman… she sounds a real hoot… as for writing crap been there done that, more often than I want to admit…

  3. Excellent guest post!! I can tell already that she has a way with words and a great sense of humour, so I am definitely going to check this book out.

  4. Great post! Learning how to be patient is crucial when it comes to this thing we call writing.

  5. cheriereich says:

    Congrats, Tiffany! And I know what you mean. I was never really into English classes. I remember my senior year I told my English teacher I was going to move to a foreign country so I wouldn’t have to write in English ever again. Thankfully I got over that and realized all the cool stories I daydreamed about would be pretty cool stories. LOL!

  6. Lucid Gypsy says:

    Tiffany I like your style!

  7. A easy, breezy, no holds bared kind of interview, Tiffany. I understand about writing crap. Works well for me and then I try to salvage kernels worth saving. I like your style too. ~(*_~)~~

  8. Tiffany Pitts says:

    You are clearly all superior people with above average intelligence and strong moral compasses. . I thank you from the bottom of my heart for such kind words.

    It’s TRUE about the crap. I write so much of it. For every book I have written, I have an equal-length ‘alternate’ book – with everything I cut OUT of the original document. Sometimes, I like to go back and read them and try to figure out what the heck I was saying.
    The current book I’m working on has an excised file that starts: “On Kung-Fu-less nights there were…” And that’s it. Eeverytime I read it I think WHAT?! WHAT HAPPENED ON THE KUNG-FU_LESS NIGHTS?!
    Alas, I may never know.

  9. LOL! You just loved bad writing… Oh my. That’s awesome. I don’t particularly care for it either, but I don’t get drunk and mark up books…mostly probably because I don’t drink–but that’s beside the point.

    Thanks for the laugh!

  10. I’m glad you saw through the crap and noticed you were a real writer. Great post and I enjoyed meeting Tiffany.

    • TBM says:

      It’s not easy wading through the crap, but the good stuff is always there if one looks hard enough. Goodness knows, I’ve written my fair share of crap.

  11. Margaret says:

    I’m happy to see another lady who’s living a double life as both a scientist and a writer!

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